I’m OK

In response to many of my dear readers’ concerns for me after my previous blog entry, just wanted to assure everybody that I’m okay. Nope, I don’t deny my bouts of moping and all that comes with it (I shall not describe more), but don’t worry, I’m getting there. I’m working on my way to the path of healing. Not by my might, not by my own strength, but by His Spirit who dwells within me.

This morning, I was just contemplating with the fact of how much we actually need God. All of us do. We are completely dependent on Him for every breath we take. We are only alive today simply because it’s sustained by Him alone. Pretty amazing. More than just physically dependent on Him, we also need to be completely reliant on Him spiritually. Fully agreeing to what Sarah wrote, He is our ALL in all. We need Him during painful times AND during the good times. Was especially encouraged when talking with the girls on Saturday that many times, we conveniently forget our God during the moments when we think we can survive on our own, when in actual fact, we can’t… Cutting Him off is like cutting our life line. 

What made this train of thought even more interesting today is that God doesn’t need us. Yup. You heard me. He doesn’t need you or me. He doesn’t need our praises, He isn’t better today because we worshipped Him. Quoting Josh Harris quoting J.I Packer:

"…the Christian must never for one moment imagine himself to be indispensable to God, or allow himself to behave as if he were. The God who sent him, and is pleased to work with him, can do without him."

That’s kind of hard to grapple. Knowing that we need someone so much, yet that someone doesn’t need us. It might sound a little unfair, yet in its irony, it’s very comforting. No matter what happens to us, even during the really difficult moments, it’s comforting to know that God doesn’t change, and isn’t dependent on anything or anyone. He STILL sits enthroned in heaven, He STILL is in control, He STILL is everlasting, He is STILL GOD despite our wavering emotions towards Him.

On a lighter note…

Church camp’s next week. We’re going camping with the King. Sounds pretty exciting. Never been so close to a human king before… then of course, I’m already a princess, the child of the only King of all kings. I wonder why nobody’s excited around me, since I have royal blood in me too!

I lost a good friend last night.

Can’t imagine how it’s going to be like now.

How do you say goodbye without tears?

How do you bid farewell when it’s difficult?

When will it heal?

Only God knows.

What do you do?

Ever gone through a rough patch in your life where everything just seems to crumble down bits by bits, like a crumbly apple pie, or like a sandcastle slowly ‘eaten’ and washed away by the waves of the sea? When what you held on to, felt so secure and strong, only to realize later, it’s just a dream, which easily evaporates and vanishes like any other dreams before?

What do you do when life gets tough? When each new day requires you to gather so much courage and strength just to survive, and the cycle repeating itself every morning? When you just wished that one scream of anguish could blow all the roadblocks and pain away? When it hurts so much, but can’t find any painkillers to numb it?

What do you do when you know that the very road you walk is one fully decorated with brokenness after the other, and also knowing that the very same road only leads to a dead end, yet there is no other road to take but that?

Got only one answer, that is to rely on the fact that God is God and still is God despite all that happens.

I’m reminded of the song we sang last Saturday "None but Jesus".

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

When You call I won’t refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord

Forevermore

The appearance of this song came in the right time, where its words ring so true and so much stronger than before.

To allow Him to take control. That’s hard. I’ve always been one who needs control over my situations and problems - to know what’s going on, and what I can do solve it. But to let go? It’s tough. But required. I’m trying. I’m struggling.

I hope this isn’t just PMS working its crap on me.

In the depths of depths

I need You Jesus

To come to my rescue

Where else can I go

There’s no other name

By which I am saved

Captured me with grace

I will follow You

Ever felt that familiar? At times when you are so down, feeling so helpless and hopeless, it just felt like nothing could ever make that better? I felt it – and still do sometimes. It’s been and still is a struggle, I admit, but I consciously remind myself that I feel so because I really am nothing, but have become something because of the saving grace of my Lord – the pain and sacrifice He gave to replace mine. He offers a trade, to let me surrender my downs and ’suffering’ to Him, in replacement for joy and peace. It’s a trade He promises to keep. No strings attached.

How did He do it?

Why did He do it?

Who is He?

What’s special about this man?

Then, my friend, here’s an invite to hear the answers.

Allow yourself to be free on April 7, 2007 from 4pm to 6pm, at Cheras Baptist Church.

It’s a trade of a lifetime you cannot afford to miss.