I remember telling someone a long time back that it would feel so nice to drive towards/in town when the sun is setting, the sky is in its twilight colours and nice soft music playing from the radio. I’d love sitting in my dad’s car when it was that. Just watching the lights lit up from the buildings, the cars and street lamps.
Well. I sort of received that wish last night… and it was not as nice as I thought it was going to be. Being the only driver left in the household (my dad has gone to Penang and my brother to Philippines), I had to send my sister and her friend to tuition class last night. It was twilight alright and the lights were definitely turned on (especially those of cars driving in the opposite direction of mine!). It would have been a beautiful drive, except I was clutching tightly on the steering wheel, concentrating extremely hard to the passing cars beside me so I can cut in and out, I dare not step too hard on my dad’s relatively newer Kia car’s accelerator for the fear that if I ‘happened’ to accidentally damage it, I’d be guilty for life(mind you, this is self-imposed, my dad isn’t that cruel, but he won’t be that happy to see a dent on his car!). My thoughts were so focused upon driving the girls (and the car) safely through the journey, I could not just have a short glimpse at the stars and the colours of the purplish dark blue sky. I wasn’t even listening to the radio except when we had to stop at the traffic lights of course!
Now that as I write this, I realized so often the things we actually dream of turned out so differently. I didn’t expect medical school and all it’s ‘glory’ to feel like going through a pressure cooker. I didn’t dream finishing med school feeling like this. I did not dream being 23 (inching closer to the big 2-4 every single day) would be like this. I didn’t think life was going to be so difficult in a certain aspect… just like how I thought it would have been a wonderful experience driving in twilight.. when it turned out completely otherwise.
Perhaps I need to brush up my driving skills.. maybe it won’t be that bad after that. I have dad’s permission to be lost in KL city anyway!