It’s time for an update… while I’m still alive and well before I get burnt down to the ground with endless working days at the O&G dept.
I need to rant.. Btw, have I mentioned that I do not like working in O&G? Now you know. I’m not just terrified of it but I’m finding a lot of difficulty actually liking it. I guess I’ll never understand why would anyone want to specialize in this field. At least I definitely know one thing – this kind of work is not for me. Other than carrying and cooing with newborn babies, the rest about this job is simply just not my thing 🙂 The work is endless and it’s actually made worse when the air within the department is extremely tense among consultants, specialists and medical officers – it’s quite stressful. Days off are scarce.. it appears that there’s no day offs for me for the next 3 weeks or so. I think the countdown at the moment is somewhere between 100 and 110 days left. Time, please please fly…
I’ve been in the gynae ward since I started and the group of women who strike me most here are those stricken with cancer – ovarian, cervical, and the like. It literally pains my heart to see how frail they look – with hair falling off their heads like withered leaves on an autumn day, their veins as fine as the hairs on their heads, injured by the blast of chemotherapy in hopes to cure or prolong life, their skin as thin as paper… their lives almost as if are hanging by a thread.
One precious elderly woman stands out among the rest. She’s a smiler. During meal times, she adorns her almost baring head with brightly coloured cloths. “Why,” I’ve asked her one time. She replies that she doesn’t want her hair falling unto other’s plates. I’ve seen a Bible next to her where she lies on the bed. She’s stronger inside than she appears physically. To her, every morning that comes is literally a gift from God. She’s under palliative care and she’s just waiting to breathe her last. I can now see why she smiles… she’s inching closer to heaven. It humbles me so much to be around her. I truly admire her courage and strength and pray that I too, can be like her – to smile in the face of storms and hardships.
The process of pregnancy and childbirth amazes me. O&G doesn’t. It’s different. Working in the labour room during the tagging week makes one think deeply about life. That bulge a woman bears becomes new life in a few hours. What was within now is. Pretty amazing. What was only dependent on mom for nourishment and oxygen now breathes on his own.
I’ve had my fair share of meeting women with miscarriages. There was one who came in with bleeding. The scans showed a fetus way smaller than the dates calculated – they don’t tally. The fetal heart was silent. When he was birthed, he was floppy and his skin macerated. It felt painful for me to lift him from the bed to be placed into our medical dish. She was brave enough to want to have a look at her own child… in all the incompleteness that he was.
Children are indeed gifts from God (Psalm 127:3). He gives and sometimes He chooses to take it back. “Why,” you may ask. I guess it’s an answer which we’ll never know because God is God and we’re not, but whatever it may be, He only gives the best and nothing less.