Dreaded thoughts

image Crap. I think I’m getting the hang of it.

This is so not good.

And by that, I actually mean working in the big O and G.

Yup. You read that right. The meanest toughest craziest posting I ever went through (other than Surgery) as a house officer… and now I’m getting the hang of it as a medical officer. What’s wrong with me?

But y’know, this should be an expected change of heart. I felt like I owe it to my patients to be the best that I can be in what I do and therefore made *some* effort to learn to manage cases related to this field so that in my day to day of work, I’m not doing harm to those put under my care. So when you learn it, you eventually get it.. but hopefully not like it because this is not what I want to do in life.

Or is it?

Argh!

I would give a lot of credit to my specialist and fellow colleagues who have graciously helped me so much along the way. Somehow the environment here is different than it is in HKL. It’s easier, it’s not as crazy stressful (although it sometimes can be when things are going so so wrong)… AND I have to really emphasize that the nurses here are totally not like the ones in HKL. Perhaps because they’re not overloaded with work, people are just generally nicer and happier. I guess HKL is after all, as what they say, a mad house.

I’m really just hoping that in my day to day job, I don’t lose track of my focus.

Paediatrics. Paediatrics. Paediatrics.

Now ask me, “Lydia, then why aren’t you doing anything about requesting to transfer to the Paeds Department instead?”

Answer number one, my friends. I actually feel bad about leaving the department after being sent to train my skills and the hours spent to coach me and teach me to be a competent O&G MO.

Answer number two, Paeds department has been given more new MOs recently and I fear that if I were to be sent there now, it might overload that team with new people. (I know, lame excuse).

Answer number three. I’m getting used to it in O&G and the lazy me is a LITTTLLEE (very little, mind you) reluctant to pack her bags and move to new ground again. Maybe I should start scaring myself with all the possible red alerts and crazy emergency things that can blow up in an O&G situation. That would definitely do the trick.

Even till today, I still get my hand tremors after delivering the baby in C-section. Let me tell ya,.. that’s not a good thing to have when you’re holding a needle in your forceps and you need to remain calm and steady to close the uterus up fast. Why do I get that, you ask? Perhaps it’s the combination of the intensely building up of adrenaline the very moment my scalpel slides through the patient’s skin, to the enormously multiplication of more adrenaline when delivering the baby knowing in the back of your mind of all the things that could go so wrong that time.. to the dreaded impending possibilities of a torrential amount of bleeding either from extended tears or uterine atony.

Oh boy, but what a relief it is to suture the skin back together knowing it went well… although I’ve got to say that I rarely feel that, because I still worry whether I’ve left any bleeding points within the abdominal cavity.

Hmmm.. I wonder whether by writing all these, will women get scared of coming to Slim River to deliver now?

No worries folks, I’m just getting the hang of it… not liking it.

Yet.

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