I was suppose to share at church service this morning but chickened out last minute. So thought I might just share it here instead as I sat and wrote this early this morning.
Throughout my pregnancy my head dived through the pages of a book made famous by a movie called “What to expect when you’re expecting”. In it were detailed step by step knowledge of what exactly to expect such as the changes of your body and the baby within.
But things changed when I delivered. There was no more book of what to expect. Thus far, motherhood has been full of things that I did not expect.
Here’s a short list of it.
1. I did not expect the degree of pain during delivery. Ironic to say as I speak of one being trained specifically in the field of obstetrics and I should know of it and be prepared for it. Suffice it to say, it exceeded my expectations.
2. I did not expect nursing to be difficult, tedious and never stopping. Another one aspect of motherhood, i thought with ego should be a piece of cake given that it was expected in my job to advocate and train mothers to nurse. The opposite quite happened. The early weeks were a pure struggle. My poor family had to endure my tears and fears.
3. I did not expect motherhood days to be long and the nights even longer. I imagined confinement days to be easy going, with lots of rest with time for maybe a book or two. In reality, I could not believe that it was time for the next feeding (because Chloe was crying) as I felt like I just nursed her 10 minutes ago.
4. I did not expect that I had to practice the level of patience I never knew I had. Being one with a temper, a baby (and now a toddler with quite a tantrum) can certainly tests your patience. I didn’t know that I could have that much of patience, for it is surely not mine but God-given.
5. I did not expect to experience this level of joy. In the biggest irony of all time, I did not expect that Chloe could one minute, make you feel like screaming and immediately the next, that feeling instantly fizzles off and you feel like laughing instead. The way she walks or talks or stands or dances.
6. I did not expect myself to be able to love someone that much. I’m sure all mothers will testify to this. It’s like almost every minute of the day is about my daughter. What’s she doing, is she ok, does she have enough etc. and the best part? She loves reciprocally and equally back without condition. The hugs and kisses she gives are priceless.
Motherhood has been full of unexpectations but also one I could never have gotten through without my big support group. So here are my list of public thanks.
Thank you God, for allowing me to the blessed opportunity to be a mother. Through this role, I have learnt so much about myself, but I have also learnt so much about You, the love and patience you give as a Father to us.
Thank you, Adrian, for being equally so patient and tolerant to my everyday struggles. You have been my pillar of strength, comfort and sanity. Thank you for your love and commitment especially through the endless ridiculous drives back and forth throughout the past one year.
I am also very blessed to have my parents full on alongside me in my parenting journey. Thanks, mom and dad for helping me with Chloe. You know that there was no way I could have gotten through this without both of your helping hands in taking care of her. Chloe is super blessed to being showered with love by so many around her. Thanks especially to my mom, who graciously took on the responsibility to looking after her while I worked. Mom, thank you for your sacrifice. Before this, I’ve understood why you did the things you did for us as children, but now I definitely understand it with a different perspective. Thanks for your years of sacrifice for us. I’m sure that if Tim and Phoebe were here, they would have said the same thing too. We love you.
In closing, yup, motherhood is full of unexpectations, and I guess it’s okay. We’ll get by – as long as we continue to trust and obey the Lord.
Happy Mother’s Day.